Tis better to have loved and lost
by sailorslytherin
Summary: First in a series of four. Caution: Contains death, self-harm and language.
1. It's not how it seems, really, mwaha

**Well, well, well this is the first in my series of four. They'll only be a couple of chapters but please review and let me know what ya think m'kay?**

Kayla ran her hand nervously over her pale stomach, "here goes nothing," she muttered to no one in particular. She pushed open the school halls' heavy oak doors. She nervously played with the rings she was wearing as she approached the Slytherin table.

"Um, Draco?"

"What is it Panes?" the blond haired boy snapped.

"Can I talk to you…alone?"

Draco sighed and stood up, following her outside. The two walked on in silence till they came to an empty clearing next to the lake.

"What is it?" he snapped.

Kayla sighed, "you no that night we…we…you no," she raised her eyebrows, "did that?"

"Yes, I told you I didn't want to make anything out of it didn't I? You're a Gryffindor for crying out loud!"

"Too late…"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm pregnant."

Draco's jaw dropped, "you're WHAT!?"

Kaylas' eyes began to water, "I don't know what to do."

"For fucks sake, we're only 15!!"

"I no, you think it's easy for me? You think I asked for this?" she trembled.

"Are you sure it's mine?"

"Of course it is, you're my only…partner so to speak."

"This can't be happening to me," Draco whispered.

"You're the one who didn't want to use anything!!" Kayla said angrily.

"I don't want anything to do with it! I don't want anything to do with YOU, you're no one! I've got Pansy, you were a fling, nothing more."

Kayla sobbed, "please Draco, just let me tell you…"

"Tell me nothing!!" he yelled at her, "get it killed, I won't have my reputation ruined by some…some hore!!"

Kayla cried even more, "wait, please…"

"No, nothing more," Draco ranted on, "leave me alone!!" he ran back up to the castle, and Kayla slumped crying against a tree.


	2. The end?

Kayla wasn't in class again. Draco worried that he had been too harsh on her, 'I feel…I don't know what I feel…' he thought to himself walking from class to class.

Later that evening Dumbledore stood up in dinner and called for attention, "students, Kayla Panes has not been in class, as I'm sure many of you have noticed."

Dracos' head snapped upwards to look at the headmasters' grim face.

"She's now laying in the hospital wing, Kayla was pregnant…"

A gasp went up through the crowd.

"Was??" Pansy whispered to Marcus Flint.

"Why's she in the hospital wing?" Fred, one of Kayla's friends, yelled out.

"She tried to explain to the father, but he wouldn't listen to her," Dumbledore briefly glanced at Draco, "Kayla wasn't exactly in a 'happy place', and last night she tried to take her own life."

Dracos' jaw dropped. A few of the girls began to cry. He looked around himself and saw Krystal, whom was Kaylas' best friend, wasn't anywhere to be seen. Come to think about it, he realised he hadn't seen Krystal since the day before he found out that Kayla was pregnant.

"I'd like to ask you all to have Kayla in your thoughts," the old man continued, "you may visit, but I warn you that she's not in good shape," the old man wearily sat down again.

*** Drum roll * oh the drama!**


	3. seriously the end NOW

It took Draco several days to work up the courage to go visit Kayla in the hospital wing. But on Friday of that week, he finally got the nerve. Taking a bunch of flowers he set off from the common room to go see her. Finally reaching his destination he swung open the doors, Kayla was in the bed at the end.

"Oh shit."

Draco slowly walked over towards her. She had cuts down her face and neckline. There were dark circles under her eyes and bruises on her shoulders. There were heavy bandages around her wrists and up her arm. Taking the seat next to her he gently stroked her cheek and took her hand in his.

She stirred and weakly opened her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Draco began.

"I lost it," a tear rolled down her cheek, "I did what you wanted."

"No, no, I was angry."

She lifted up the base of her shirt to reveal large gashes and slash marks across her black and blue bruised stomach, "I killed it," she cried.

"Oh Kayla, I'm so sorry," he cradled her in his arms, rocking her back and forth.

She sobbed quietly into his chest, and after a while he realised that she'd become quiet. He let her go and suddenly she began gasping for air. A thin stream of blood came out from the corner of her mouth.

"Kayla…please don't go."

"I'm sorry Draco."

"MADAM POMEFRY!"

She came running, "Kayla…" she gasped.

Draco sat outside the hospital wing. The nurse came out and signalled they could all go inside.

Snape, **(Kaylas' father, Panes, Snape get it?)**, Draco and Krystal, (her best friend) all walked into the sterile room to her bed.

"There's nothing we can do, I'm so sorry," Madam Pomefry said apologetically.

Kaylas' eyes slowly opened. Snape took her hand, "I love you Kayla," he smiled lightly.

"Yeah, I no dad."

Krystal began to cry.

"Krystal," Kayla smiled, "I'm gunna miss you a lot."

"No," Draco cut in, "you can't go…please don't…you'll never no how much I really do care," a single tear rolled down his cheek. He lent over and gently kissed her.

"Bye Draco."

Her breathing slowed and her eyes rolled back, until her eyes' closed.

"Kayla…" Snape whispered, running a hand over her forehead.

"Bye Dad," she muttered.


End file.
